New work

For the Pol. corr. in your life:
Limited Edition Print, 33 x 33 cm.
Buy it here: www.anniewest.com/shop.php
Free shipping worldwide.

Excuse me waiter- there`s a Rock God in my office

When I was young, I was a huge Led Zeppelin fan. As my parents and neighbours will testify. I collected every one of their albums and played them to death on my record player with the massive speakers stolen from my brother. On a date in 1975 I arrived home with Physical Graffiti under my arm and proceeded to play it. Realising it was that good I decided the whole street should hear it; not just the once but all day long and at an ear-splitting, head wrecking volume. Suffice to say not everyone on our road in Rathfarnham agreed with me.

I was more a Jimmy Page gal than a Robert Plant gal: I did admire Percy`s vocal range but found his onstage contortions , and his tummy, a bit off putting. Jimmy was darker and weirder and , well, darker.

Makes it all the more cringey and painful to tell this tale. In 1987 I left my job in the design department of Tyne Tees TV and joined a new crew at Pinewood Studios to begin a new Channel Four music series titled *Wired*. This was meant to be a leaner, better, cooler version of The Tube which had just ended.

I was employed by an infuriating little man called Willy, or Alasdair, depending on what day it was and who was asking. Within a couple of weeks of working with him I realised he was either working on two or three other films at the same time or , more likely, on the run from somebody.

He had designed a set for the show which, among other anomalies, featured a completely impractical sloping stage, and then simply abandoned it, and me, and disappeared, rarely to be seen again. Needless to say any road crew that arrived to set up found this more than annoying as it made setting up equipment quite a challenge. Anyone with even the most rudimentary knowledge of physics would know this wasn`t going to work. And because my boss was almost entirely absent when the shouting started, I, being his assistant, had to face the flak from numerous sweaty disgruntled crewmembers as amps and snare drums slid gently off the stage with alarming frequency . After a couple of weeks of this, during which I was shouted at by backline from Ry Cooder to the Style Council, I realised this was a job I would not be enjoying for much longer.

Then one fine Monday morning I was informed that Robert Plant and his new band would be doing a *special* in Studio 8. Now, if you were me,and this was an ordinary situation, and you were fourteen, and happy at your work, this would definitely be something to write home about. A lot of squeeeeeeeeeing and fainting and pawing and fainting again.

But no.

I had spent most of the morning being yelled at down the phone by somebody or other followed in quick succession by a lengthening queue of people making utterly unreasonable demands, followed again by people wanting to know where my boss was and more importantly what was his real name.

By noon I was grumpy,fractured, tetchy and exasperated as I marched up and down the corridors of Pinewood muttering about having quit better jobs than this.

I stamped into my office , slammed the door and sat at the drawing board, fuming and hissing with resentment.

Then came a gentle *Tap tap tap* on the door and before I could shout *GET LOST*, Robert Plant poked his head round the door.

"Hi babe. Mind if I use your phone?"

Oh all right then, I thought. But said, "Of course. Want me to get out?"

"No, no, work away", which I did,; I remember drawing skulls and crossbones on a cartoon of my boss`s annoying little face and writing hate words all over the drawing. Which was supposed to be for next week`s show with Joni Mitchell.

So there I was , hunched over my drawing board, hacking and scratching all my hate and loathing on the paper, with my 2H pencil , held in my hand like an ice pick, as Robert Plant, ROCK GOD, chatted on the phone beside me.

When he`d hung up he leaned back in the chair (sadly it was just one of those rubbishy plastic chairs) and asked me what I was up to. I mumbled something like "Oh, nothing much. Just, you know, Joni Mitchell".

"You look as if you`re having a bad day, babe", said ROBERT PLANT of LED ZEPPELIN (I know, I know, I`m still annoyed about it) and before I had a chance to bore him to death with my tale of woe, and also ask him did he call everyone *babe* or just me, and was there any chance at all that Jimmy might show up ( I know. What is my problem) , he immediately said

"You know,I think I can help. I wrote a song once about times like this. When everything`s going wrong...called *In the Light* ...d`you know it? "

"Though the winds of change may blow around you, but that will always be so.....er, um......

.....erm......

Then there was this... silence... that grew louder and louder as I realised that not only had he forgotten the lyrics but so had I.

Suddenly he jumped up out of the cheap plastic chair, patted me on the shoulder and said,

"So anyway, babe, gotta go. Thanks".

And, with that, he was gone.

Mrs. West recommends

Tea-out-your-nose-spluttering humour from Donal Conaty. Read a sample chapter at http://www.ybooks.ie/

Farm Illustration

Aerial photos of the Farm ? No thanks. Ordnance survey maps are delightful. But they`re not concerned about listing the Back field, the Night field, The front field. You have funny names for every field. And there`s the dog. And that old Ferguson you could never get rid of. All of this captured in an illustration.

Contact me for info. info@anniewest.com

The Twitter Machine

Limited Edition prints now available to buy at www.anniewest.com/shop.php

Commission for Dr. Hugh Brady

New Prints

New limited edition prints available to buy at Ye olde Online Shoppe.
www.anniewest.com/shop.php

Ireland, 2010

This is us, now, Ireland, in the twenty-first century, 30th March 2010.
I may send this to Brian Lenihan later.

West & Mathews

Gallery Zozimus, Francis St., Dublin
Opens at 6.00 pm SHARP on Wednesday, May 5th.
The exhibition will be opened by Ryan Tubridy.

"How would you like your Wit, Madam- dry or sparkling?"

Make a date in your diary with a big fat felt pen: this is the exhibition of the year. Maybe because it`s the only one we`re doing this year.

Unlike many art exhibition openings , this will be a bit different as there will be no mention whatever of the "parallel abstraction of shape and form whilst manoeuvring between the conflict and tension of light and shadow in the emotional chaos of the unconscious symbolism".

Delight the eye and treat yourself to a piece of really fine art that will make you laugh today and tomorrow.

Irish Times readers will be familiar with Tom`s Artoons and many of the originals will be exhibited. Annie is showing a new series of limited edition prints examining the great "What ifs " in History as well as a special series about Dreamboat Laureate Seamus Heaney and his army of female followers.

These cartoons are also familiar to many who use the Internet: glancing nervously at the guest list it is likely there may be a Pie fight as citizens get caught in the crossfire between the Twitterers and the Facebookers.The last remaining Beboers and MySpacers may also shuffle in.
That said, all the gentle people who belong to no particular social networking site are also most welcome and will no doubt inject a bit of reality into the proceedings.

Annie West (born 1961) spent ten years working in film and TV. She worked in RTE, Tyne Tees TV, Little Bird Films, Channel Four, BBC, Strongbow Films, and Palace Pictures until, in 1998, she began her career as a full time Illustrator and cartoonist.
She is neither tall nor willowy.
Annie has illustrated over a dozen children`s books, two of which she also Authored, and has designed album covers for The Waterboys, Sharon Shannon and many more.
Well known in Literary circles as the “Person responsible for Those Yeats Cartoons”, Annie has been exhibiting her Limited Edition Fine Art prints since 2006. She has had several sold out solo shows in Sligo, Dublin and Galway. She has the dubious qualification of having made a man die laughing at one of her Yeats cartoons.
Annie also works to commission and an Annie West Special is fast becoming a prized possession among discerning art lovers. Her hilarious, smart yet decidedly affordable one-off illustrations are in great demand and her commissioned work can be found in the collections of Brad Pitt, Mick Galwey, Former U.S. Ambassador Tom Foley, The Waterboys, Paul Carson, Horslips, Sharon Shannon, Michael D. Higgins, Neil Jordan, Anthony Foley, Shane Byrne, Senator David Norris and Tom Cruise, as well as Homemakers, Firefighters, Late Late Show hosts, Children, University Presidents and Farmers.

Described by the Irish Times as “An institution in Dublin for thirty years”, Tom Mathews (born 1952) is well over four feet tall. His Cupid`s bow legs and long flaming red nose have made him a legend from one end of Ireland to slightly beyond the same end.
When not drinking stout and boring everyone to tears about Groucho Marx and James Joyce, he is busy at his easel or desk.
“Achievements” to date include:
“Levon”: A novel, 1984
Three collections of cartoons
Criticism (Theatre, Books, Rock music)
Thirty one man exhibitions (cartoons)
Two serious exhibitions
Tom has exhibited at the Living Art Exhibition, National Portrait Show, RHA.
His book “Keats and Chapman” (a collection of improbable tales) was published by New Island Books in October 2008. His collected verse was published in 2009.
His Artoons appear every Saturday in the Irish Times.

Prepare to be amused.
PLEASE NOTE: Previews are available. Tel: 01 4509057
or email info@galleryzozimus.ie

Exhibition at The Good Food Gallery Kilcullen Co. Kildare

George Lee gets a Job

Happy Christmas

Mankind`s first Chiropractic experience.

Movember

http://www.rte.ie/radio1/thebusiness/1311473.html

Movember on The Business RTE Radio 1 Saturday

http://www.rte.ie/radio1/thebusiness/1307849.html

RTE`s The Business are running a "Grow A Ronnie" thing on the show to raise funds for Action Prostate Cancer.
The idea being to grow a ronnie in four weeks.
I have volunteered for this in order to keep the old playing pitch level equality-wise. If anyone feels like contributing anything to the effort , suggestions about styles to try, possible growth promoters (legal ones) etc etc , I would be delighted to hear from you.
I`m only doing this for charity.
Hopefully I will have a luxurious,Zapata-style ronnie just in time for the Horslips concert.

When not writing, Seamus can often be found reading.

Now available to buy online
30x30cm unframed
Free shipping worldwide.
See www.anniewest.com/shop.php for more information.

New work

"Bank Holiday in Sherwood Forest" 33 x 33 cm approx.

This is one of a new series now available to buy online.
Prints are supplied unframed (or framed by arrangement), limited to an edition of 50 and are available to buy through PayPal`s secure payment service.
Free shipping worldwide.
www.anniewest.com/shop.php

The Genius switch

Contrary to widely held belief, there IS in fact an "OFF" position on the Genius switch.
And Mary Coughlan has found it.

Laureate...because I`m worth it

Remains of the Day

After meeting with Oscar Wilde, Yeats defines the term: "Cruel Irony"

Bankers

"In some places the verb 'to scumbag' means to mislead, betray or fool another person. It is synonymous with the equally colloquial 'fuck over.' Often used in the past tense."

Source:Online Dictionary

Damn.

This illustration is , in the space of a day, not only irrelevant but also possibly grounds for some kind of lawsuit. Thanks darlin. I still love you though

"Hello Mary. Is John at home?"

Sometimes I am unlucky and turn on the telly and there he is, stepping into a half built house, pretending he has just happened by with a camera crew. There`s Mary, swinging out of the rafters, sawing, lifting, hammering away while John swans around, pointing at things and sipping coffee.
Duncan has no desire to speak to Mary. Duncan wants to speak to the man of the house.
One of these days Mary will answer " Sorry, Duncan, John is dead. I killed him with this nail gun here".

I have an image in my head of Duncan in a Tutu, dancing round a huge pile of burning nappies. I may draw it later.

Room to Roam remastered

The remastered Room to Roam is out now. Cover by Mrs. West, unless you believe what they say in Wikipedia.
Get it here: www.mikescottwaterboys.com

Mrs. West recommends

I couldn`t put it down... very difficult to do even menial tasks as a result.

Thanks for the big hello in the paper Dave

The best portrait of WB Yeats...ever

No comment required. Except maybe PFFFFffffffffffffffffffffffff.................

Seamus Heaney. The new Joe Dolan

On my travels recently I noticed a very large contingent of ladies present to see Seamus Heaney reading his poetry at Listowel Writer`s Week: I noticed that a number of them weren`t really listening... rather, gazing fondly in his general direction with a misty look in their eyes.

This week Seamus visited Sligo for the Yeats Summer School and as I was exhibiting the "Yeats in Love" art in the theatre (trying to annoy the Yeats committee- again-) I remarked to a couple of the ladies in the box office that there was once again a large contingent of "Mature Ladies" in attendance; not only were they there but there was a considerable amount of fawning and cooing going on when big Seamus arrived.

"What`s the story with all these women slobbering all over Seamus Heaney?"
"Well, you know, Joe Dolan is dead now..."
"So... what you`re saying is Seamus Heaney is the new Joe Dolan?"
"Precisely. Look at him. Sexy beast..."
I spent the rest of the evening pondering whether or not to fling my knickers in his direction, yelling: " Gimme some syntax, big boy! Show us yer iambic pentameter!"

Galway Exhibition

The next exhibition opens at the Bold Art Gallery St. Augustine St., Galway at 6pm on July 15th. Everybody is welcome and the show will be opened by the effervescent Ms. Sharon Shannon.

Cearc an Phrompa Douze points

The children’s picture book, Cearc an Phrompa, written by Colmán Ó Raghallaigh, and illustrated by Annie West, has been selected by a European jury to represent Ireland at an exhibition of books from each of the 27 countries of the EU which will take place from October 11 2008 to January 4 2009 at Bibliothèque Nationale de France (National Library of France) in Paris.

Cearc an Phrompa was published by Cló Mhaigh Eo in 2004 and is a witty retelling of the international children’s folktale “Chicken Licken”. The exhibition, entitled Tour of Europe in 27 picture books will consist of large panels, each dedicated to a European country represented by a children’s book. Each panel will show enlarged images from the book, accompanied by short texts and information regarding the country’s children’s literature.

"Anthoneeeeeeeeeeeee!!!"

Sligo Rugby Club presented Anthony Foley with a specially commissioned Illustration the other week; this was not an easy piccy to execute but I think it worked out OK. It features various elements including family, children, Heineken Cup,Caps and Wasps as well as a thick volume on the shelf titled "Why I love Anthony by Gerry Thornley: Volume 1 of 66"
(I`m the short one on the right)

Phoenix Mag Advertising rates

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Thanks you too darlin. I have been through my spam folder and with the aid of my trusty calculator, have realised a cool 598 million and change, in various currencies, mostly Nigerian Dollars if I reply to all of these emails. Cool. That should take care of my Phoenix advertising bill for this month

Patch me through to McGarrett

First full season of Hawaii Five-O arrived in the post. So...no work done for the next few days

Exhibition news

The new work for 2008 is ready and will be showing in the following venues:
June 5th opening at Gallery Zozimus, Francis St. Dublin www.galleryzozimus.ie
This is a group exhibition with Kevin McSherry and Fintan Taite and will be opened by Sam Smyth.

July 15th Bold Art Gallery Galway during the Galway Arts Festival www.boldartgallery.com
July 26th Hawk`s Well Theatre Sligo during the Yeats Summer School www.hawkswell.com
August 5th Mill Theatre Dundrum Town Centre Dublin www.milltheatre.com
To preview or buy prints please visit www.anniewest.com/shop.php

You`ll never see the Cone of Silence on CSI

I wonder is there any hope of ever getting to see Get Smart again. I guess the nearest we`ll ever get to that is watching David Caruso throwing shapes. Nearly as funny.

The Ligind that is Peter Stringer

Peter Stringer launched Moxie the Underdog on Saturday- waived his fee and instead asked us to make a donation to the Children`s Leukaemia Research Trust.For more info please visit www.clrpireland.com.
The guy is just a wonderful decent polite charming handsome modest talented and fabulous human being.

Moxie The Underdog launch in Galway

Moxie the Underdog will be launched in Easons Galway at 11 am on Saturday March 29th. Peter Stringer, Ireland scrum half and Munster "Ligind" will be there to do the honours, meet the kids and sign autographs.
I will be there also.

Rick Astley Pie Chart

Thanks to http://www.theinternetnowinhandybookform.com/blog/

Yeats in Love II : The wrath of Gonne

I`m struggling. I know I have to go back to the Yeats thing. There`s mountains of other stuff to play with...
Maybe I`ll do something on the old Steinach-impotence-cure-second-puberty-elephant-testicles thing for a while.
See what comes up...
................................
...............................
...............................
Pfffff.....

Got that Granuaile thing finished

Finally. Couldn`t decide whether they would have been drinking shots or beer.. held me up for ages. Decided on the beer in the end.

Quote of the day

“I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.”
Robert McCloskey, Children`s Author and Illustrator

Politicians looking at things

Minister for Justice Brian Lenihan was on the radio the other day talking about misuse of alcohol; during his interview he used the phrases "we will be looking at", "that will be looked at" and "I am confident that is being looked at" at least 18 times: I would have continued counting but instead I ran from the kitchen with my head in my hands. For sheer fingernails-down-the-blackboard irritation this comes top of the list, for this week at any rate.
In my little world, "Looking at" something means precisely that: looking at it. It doesn`t mean anything is going to be done, necessarily. So can I assume that if a politician continuously says that whatever it is is "going to be looked at" that this is as far as it will go? I can see these guys taking out the file, looking at it, and putting it back on the top shelf again, before heading out to RTE where they can smugly announce that this issue "has been/is going to be/ was looked at". Or better still, if they ask some trainee in the office to simply stare at the file back on the desk while they are on the air, they can cheerfully pronounce that this issue is "being looked at". Hurrah!
While I`m on the subject of Politicians, I would have thought Trevor Sargeant, former leader of the Green Party, would have made it his business to learn the correct pronounciation of the word Nuclear.
In Woody Allen's 1989 film Crimes and Misdemeanors, the Mia Farrow character says she could never fall for any man who says "nucular."
It`s almost as annoying as the misuse of the word "Presently" .
End of rant (for now)

Mrs. West recommends

"The life and times of the Thunderbolt Kid" by Bill Bryson.
Makes me wish I was small again.
"Bryson zaps his story with about a million kilowatts of affectionate comic energy, conjuring slapstick scenes with Tom and Jerry kinetics and comic-book plots in hilariously hyperbolic prose."
Bruce McCall, The Toronto Globe & Mail

Na Dódaí nominated for Celtic Film Festival Award

Children`s TV programme Na Dódaí has been nominated for best Educational programme in the Celtic Film Festival.
The programme is in Irish and produced by Imagine Media and BBC Northern Ireland, featuring storybook Illustrations by yours truly.

Queen Elizabeth learns Irish

I did a bit of work on Elizabeth I last year and I`m thinking of expanding the whole Elizabeth I / Tudors/ maybe Granuaile thing. Nothing`s come up yet though...I was impressed by the fact that (allegedly) Queen Elizabeth got a few Irish lessons before meeting Granuaile; I wonder if that was true. I`d love to have been a fly on the wall that day. No worries about where to start the conversation at any rate.
I guess if Pat Kenny were to interview either of them he would patronisingly call them "Feissssssty", as he recently did with the Managing Director of the World Bank which hopefully would draw the same kind of reaction as one would if one were to get a swift kick in the teeth for no reason.

Artist`s Statement?... Huh?

I was asked to provide an Artist`s Statement for an upcoming exhibition.
"A what?" I asked, having been until now unaware of such things.
Apparently people want to know why you do what you do. "What`s wrong with just doing it?" I enquired, only to be met with a glare I hadn`t seen since the day I got sent to the Headmaster`s office.
So off I went and had a look at other people`s Artist Statements. After a while I asked for a Dictionary, Thesaurus and Translator.
"Annie dear. You have to write something. We neeeeed it for our clients" whined the curator.
I muttered something along the lines of "You`re getting a king`s ransom for this work I`m doing so why don`t YOU write it then" but not within earshot.
I`m an Illustrator.I draw stuff that hopefully people will like and maybe buy because they like the look of it. I didn`t know I had to EXPLAIN this as well.
I sat at the keyboard for a day or two and eventually came up with
"My work centres on the parallel abstraction of shape and form whilst manoeuvering between the conflict and tension of light and shadow in the emotional chaos of the unconscious symbolism consisting of ideograms which reflect in a negative way on shape and form.
But mostly I do this because I need the money".